Fringe Survival

The annual Fringe Festival has officially begun, which means overwhelming numbers of people and shows. Whether you're a local or an out-of-towner, you're going to have to contend with both at some point (unless you go on holiday for the entire month of August, which is, incidentally, when the rest of Europe goes on holiday).

I'm spending the month of August voluntarily diving straight into the Fringe: I'm reviewing plays for FringeGuru.com; I did my first one, Female Gothic, yesterday (it's great, by the way, go check it out) and I probably have another one lined up for today. I've already gotten a taste of what Fringe-season Edinburgh is like and I've quickly adapted to it (no choice, really, it's either adapt or get run over or buried in flyers!) Here are a few things I've learned:

Pace Yourself. This is definitely number one. There are thousands of shows on, and the Fringe is only one festival happening in August (there are also the International Festival and the Book Festival). The Fringe catalogue of shows alone is half an inch thick. Unless you don't need rest or sleep, if you try to see everything that sounds interesting to you, you'll die of exhaustion. My suggestion: pick one festival (say, the Fringe) and focus on areas that are of particular interest to you (maybe comedy and theatre). Read the descriptions of those shows and pick some to go see. This is not to say you might not add to your list later -- there are plenty of free shows happening, and flyers are being thrust at you from all sides as you walk down the Mile, so surely you'll hear about something else you want to see -- but at least this way you're not spending weeks just trying to get through the show descriptions.

Take Time to Enjoy the City. Edinburgh's awesome. Yes, the Royal Mile's cool, but there are lots and lots of other neat areas to discover that aren't choked with people right now. Take a break from all the darkened theatres, stretch your legs, and explore the New Town (not just Prince's Street) or Leith. Loathe as I am to encourage crowds of people to head to my neighborhood (what can I say? I like it quiet and I'm a little selfish), my neck of the woods, Stockbridge, is incredibly charming. Lots of little restaurants that won't be too crowded, and cute boutique-y shops you won't find anywhere else (which is not something you can say about George or Prince's Street). Pop into one of the free museums -- they've got some great exhibitions on now.

Bring Good Walking Shoes. For some reason, the locals are fine with tottering about on crazy high heels. That's because they're slightly insane. This city is very hilly and cobblestones are still a very popular paving material, particularly in the older sections (where almost all the Fringe activity is going on). Those heels that make your legs look great will inevitably get jammed in a crack in the street and you'll either faceplant or find yourself desperately trying to tug free while a bus bears down on you. Wear flats.


Don't Complain About the Weather. Seriously, this is such a cliche anyway. We know it's cooler than it is in the U.S., that's why we have jumpers and jackets. We know it's wet (it's been unseasonably rainy this year, so no cracks about how 'typical' the rain is), that's why we have cute wellies and brollys. You can find all of these things at John Lewis, British Home Stores, or any of the department stores right on Prince's Street, so go ahead and kit yourself up and get used to carrying an umbrella around at all times.

Get a Sturdy Umbrella. Speaking of umbrellas: get a good one. Rain and wind go hand-in-hand here, and that cheapo you bought won't last a second. Invest in a decent umbrella or you'll regret it fast.

Brace Yourself for Flyers. Getting around the Royal Mile or any of its side streets is like running a paper gauntlet. Hands appear from all sides, thrusting flyers at you and begging you to go see this or that show. You can do a few things here: focus straight ahead, refusing to make eye contact or acknowledging the flyer-givers; perfect an incredibly fierce stare that warns people not to approach; murmur a polite refusal; just take the flyers (though by the end of a 100-yard walk you may have more than you can carry). Whatever you do, remember that these are all artists trying to promote their shows or students working for minimum wage to promote a show, so don't be a jerk to them no matter how annoyed you are by all the offers.

Don't Mention the Tram Works. Believe me, the locals are far, far more annoyed than you are by the endless tram works that have torn up the middle of the city, ruining businesses and making traffic a hellish mess. It's not your cabbie's fault he now has to go out of his way to get you back to your hotel, so don't think he's cheating you. He's not. And if you mention this to a local in a pub or something, you might just get an endless tirade about stupid, corrupt, inept politicians our tax dollars still have to pay off, even though this whole thing's been bungled from day one, and isn't it a shame how Prince's Street has so many empty stores now because trade fell off so sharply while it was closed? Just don't go there.

Try the Haggis. Just once, to say you did.

How about it, Fringegoers? Any other tips to add?

Haggis, Neeps, and Tatties

Oh, haggis. Robert Burns loved you; most Americans hear about your ingredients and can barely finish their breakfast sausage. But you're a really beautiful, brilliant, delicious thing, and I'm a lucky girl because one of the excellent butchers near my flat makes it in-house and it's fabulous.

For the past few days, my husby's been waxing rhapsodic about haggis, neeps, and tatties--a traditional (I believe) Scottish supper dish, and what Honey wants Honey gets. The dish is typically made with a steamed or baked haggis and mashed root vegetables, but I thought that might be a bit too much soft on the plate, so I opted to make a root vegetable hash. The result: fantastically delicious and wholly satisfying. I paired it with a really lovely, slightly spicy Spanish wine I picked up at Waitrose for the princely sum of 4 pounds. Livin' large, here.

The necessaries

Haggis: Hard to find in the U.S., everywhere over here. Many balk at the idea of eating a food that's mainly offal, forgetting entirely that that's basically what all sausages are. Haggis is a type of sausage and mostly tastes like the spices that are used in it. Be bold and give it a try--you might surprise yourself.

Neeps: We thought the neeps were parsnips, but they're actually turnips. By the time we realised, the parsnips (a root veg that looks like an anemic carrot) had already been purchased, so I threw them in as well and found they added a welcome sweetness to the dish.

Tatties: Potatoes. Get some nice firm ones that stand up to roasting.

Haggis with Neeps and Tatties Hash
Serves 4

1 small haggis, traditional or vegetarian
2 medium-sized potatoes, diced large
1 medium swede (the vegetable, not a tourist) or 2 turnips, diced large
2-3 parsnips, sliced chunky
1 small onion, sliced crosswise
3 slices or rashers of bacon or cubed smoked pork
Brussels sprouts, split lengthwise
Olive oil
Fresh herbs

Bring a pot of water to the boil on the hob. Add the swede/turnips and boil for about 5 minutes. Add the potatoes and parsnips and boil another 3-5 minutes, until just starting to get slightly fork tender. Drain and cool slightly.

In a frying pan, saute the bacon until it starts to color or render fat (if you're using streaky bacon). Add the onion and saute together for about 2-3 minutes, until the onion takes on a creamy color.

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees celsius/350 farenheit.

Put the parboiled root vegetables and brussels sprouts in a bowl and toss with olive oil and herbs (I used thyme and rosemary). Add the bacon and onion and toss.

If the haggis is in an outer packaging, remove it. Prick the haggis all over with a fork and wrap it in aluminum foil. Set it in the middle of a baking dish and arrange the roasting vegetables around it. Roast for 40 mins to an hour, until the vegetables are browned and the haggis is steaming. Split the casing around the haggis  and scoop out the insides to serve with the veg.