Recipe: Green Onion, Coriander & Chili Flatbreads

Damn you, Great British Bakeoff. Once upon a time, I was able to happily sit on my bum on a Sunday afternoon, whiling away the hours with some knitting and mindless entertainment, but then you came along and I find myself thinking, "Oh, man, now I want to make some crazy flavored breads/ridiculously intricate cakes/perfect looking pies!" And so I haul myself off to the kitchen and proceed to spend the rest of the afternoon trashing it, pulling out eggs and flour and recipe books and interrupting my previously useless tranquility with fatty deliciousness. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Green Onion, Coriander & Chili Flatbreads

2 tsp dry yeast
1 cup plus 2 T warm water
3 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp salt
3-4 green onions, sliced thinly
2 tsp ground coriander
1 1/2-2 tsp chili flakes or hot piri-piri seasoning (optional)*
1 T olive or rapeseed oil

Sprinkle the yeast into the 2T warm water and let dissolve for about 10 minutes. It should look slightly frothy.

Meanwhile, whisk together the flour, salt, coriander, and chili flakes, if you're using them. Make a well in the center of the flour and pour in the green onions, yeast, oil, and 2/3 cup water.

Mix, adding more water, if necessary, to form a firm, moist dough.

Knead on a lightly floured surface until the dough is smooth, shiny, and elastic. Put the dough in a clean bowl, cover with clingfilm, and leave in a warm place to rise until doubled in size, about 1 1/2 hours.

Punch the dough down and let it rest. Meanwhile, heat a griddle or skillet over medium heat until very hot.

Divide the dough into eight equal pieces androll out each piece into a round about 6" (15 cm) across and 1/2" (1 cm) thick.

Place the dough rounds on the hot griddle or pan and prick all over with a fork to prevent large air bubbles from forming. Cook each flatbread until golden brown on both sides, about 5 minutes per side. Set aside while you cook the others.

Serve with houmous, curry, or cheese for a delicious lunch or afternoon snack.

*If you're not partial to spicy things, consider replacing the chili with some freshly grated lemon peel. I find the lemony flavor compliments coriander quite beautifully.

On the Fringe: The Ash Girl

Cast your memory back to childhood and remember Disney's Cinderella. Remember that one? With the cute talking mice and the grandmotherly fairy godmother? Ok, now think of the exact opposite of that and you'll have The Ash Girl. Disney's Cinderella was basically a Stepford Smiler who didn't seem to really mind the horrific abuse she was living with. The Ash Girl is suicidally depressed, lives next to a forest inhabited by the seven deadly sins, and is nearly accidentally raped by her own father (it's also hinted that her father married her stepmother because he had certain 'needs' and his daughter was getting just a little too pretty.) It's dark and disturbing as hell, but it's also pretty awesome. Read the full review here

The Edinburgh Military Tattoo

If you come to Scotland in August for anything, come for the Military Tattoo. It's a hell of a show (and since you're coming here in the first place, I'm going to go ahead and assume you already like bagpipes.)

I'm not a night owl--I'm lame, so there are few things that will tempt me from my cozy home at 10:30 at night, and yet, there I was, climbing to the very top of section 11 in front of Edinburgh Castle, husband in tow, settling in and excitedly waiting for everything to start. It was definitely worth staying up for.

There was a dance paying tribute to tartan weaving:

And a nod to the new Disney/Pixar film Brave (Scotland's really excited about that)

And, because this is Scotland, we had to be reminded of the fact that this is the land o'whiskey, with one of the prettiest dances of the evening:

The Australians showed up and rocked out. They started off singing and playing some old traditional tunes and then turned the whole arena into a disco as they launched into Highway to Hell. The Australian military is clearly the coolest on earth.

The Americans were playful too, paying tribute to comic book characters and superheroes through the years:

A group of highly talented drummers/Three Musketeers extras from Switzerland paid tribute to binary code:

I'm going to assume that they were tapping out some super-important message in code as well, just to bring it all together. The King's Guard from Norway was there, just to prove there are no hard feelings over those centuries of Norse invasions:

This part becomes even more impressive when you realize these are not professional soldiers at all, but conscripts doing their compulsory year of military service. Well done, gentlemen! There was also a piece celebrating the industrial revolution in dance that was much cooler than Danny Boyle's strange phallocentric celebration of earth-rape during the Olympics opening ceremony. Sorry, don't have video of that one, just take my word for it. And, of course, at the end, everybody came out -- bands, dancers, and a shetland pony (sure, why not?) to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee in a restaging of her coronation at Westminster Abbey:

After that, we took a few solemn moments to pay tribute to those who have fallen in service to their country (you can't read it, but the projection on the castle is the tombstone of the Unknown Soldier in Westminster Abbey)

And, finally, the pipers played everyone out with a rousing rendition of 'Scotland the Brave':

On the Fringe: A Brief History of Scotland -- We Done Loads!

Quick, when I say “Scotland”, what do you think of? Kilts? Whiskey? Bagpipes? FYI, none of those were actually invented here (a fact that’s difficult to remember when all you see is kilted bagpipers playing outside of whiskey shops up and down the Royal Mile). Want to find out the real history of Scotland? Well, a book might be a good bet. But if you want to get a fun take on Scottish history that pokes fun at itself and features Sean Connery voiceover narrating as God, check out A Brief History of Scotland — We Done Loads! Read full review

On the Fringe: Allotment

It was so nice of Edinburgh to finally realize it was summer the very week I had to sit in the middle of a garden to watch Allotment. I basked in the bright sunshine, enjoying the cup of tea and scone that was provided (delicious!) and prepared myself for an hour’s worth of lovely entertainment. Boy, was I wrong. Not wrong about the play being entertaining — it was as good as the refreshments; better than I expected, in fact. But it wasn’t light by any means. Read the full review here

Recipe: Gin and Tonic

It seems the weather gods have finally started to feel ashamed of the way they treated us this summer. And really, they should. Making the summer of the Jubilee, the Olympics, and our first season here one of the coldest, wettest, and most miserable on record? Not cool, weather gods.
But August has been a bit different, for the most part. There have actually been sunny warm days. I’ve been able to put my jumpers and cardigans aside and put on those cute sundresses I brought from the States! This weekend, temperatures are set to hit 31 degrees C (which is hot, quite hot) in some parts of the country. We’re looking at about 21-24 up here in Edinburgh, which is just fine by us. Warm enough to be pleasant without being unbearably steamy. Still, I’m sure that plenty of people will be reaching for the Pimm’s or that other hot weather standby, the gin and tonic.
The classic G+T actually has an interesting history to it: it was originally introduced by the army of the British East India Company in India in the early 19^th century. See, the British soldiers and colonists got down to India and realized there were bugs there. Specifically, malaria-toting mosquitoes. Quinine was an effective treatment for the disease, but its bitter taste made it unpalatable. So, they did what any sensible person would do: added booze. Enough gin and you won’t remember what flavour means anyway. They also used to add sugar and lime to the quinine and gin. Nowadays, tonic water has much less quinine, so it’s less bitter, but we still cling to that lovely gin and tonic (or vodka tonic, which we can now enjoy because we’re all kind of friends with Russia again). Sit back, enjoy the lovely weather, and treat yourself to a tipple!
Gin and Tonic
2 oz gin
5 oz tonic water
1 lime wedge
1 tsp lime juice (optional)
Pour gin, tonic water, and optional lime juice into a highball glass over ice. Stir well and garnish with a lime wedge.

On the Fringe: I Shall Be Remembered

Anyone who reads my other blog knows I'm a big fan of history, particularly women's history. So when I heard there was a show at the Fringe about the life of Madame de Pompadour, the mistress of France's Louis XV, my immediate reaction was, "I'm so there!" Really, how perfect is that? I even dragged my husband along. We settled down, anticipating a good show.

And dear god, but were we sorely disappointed. I was foolishly expecting a semi-nuanced portrait of a woman who managed to rise from the middle classes to the height of power in mid-18th century France (not an easy feat, by any means), but instead we were presented with a giddy, shallow, and utterly stupid creature that must have the real Pompadour spinning in her grave. Poor lady. She skips about the stage, babbling about portraits and palaces, pausing for about two seconds to mourn the death of her supposedly beloved daughter, and then perking back up and talking about a new dress. Oh, and apparently the woman who helped run the Seven Years' War didn't even know where Canada was. Yes, Canada, one of the larges and most economically important French colonies. Sheesh. I actually hope that Pompadour will be remembered -- she was, after all, a highly intelligent and remarkable woman, but I hope she won't be remembered for this hot mess. Read the full review here.

On the Fringe: Female Gothic

It was, with some reluctance, that I traded a sunny day (there have been so few this summer) for a dark theatre on Friday, but I did it for Female Gothic, because dammit, I'm a reviewer now and sacrifices must be made! And that sacrifice was well rewarded with an interesting, thought-provoking, beautifully acted play that entertains while commenting on women's art, status, and struggles during the Victorian period. Learn more and read my full review here.

Freedom Fighter

After managing to evade pursuers for seven years following his defeat at the Battle of Falkirk, Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace was captured on 5 August 1305 when one of his countrymen, John de Menteith, turned him over to English soldiers near Glasgow.

Wallace, who’d been making life hell for the English for almost a decade, was taken to Westminster Hall in London, where he was tried for treason and atrocities against civilians. An oak garland was placed on his head to suggest he was king of the outlaws. Wallace protested the treason charge, as he claimed he was never a subject of the English king, Edward and that John Balliol was really his king. Nonetheless, he was found guilty and, on 23 August, he was taken to the Tower of London, stripped naked, and dragged through the city to Smithfield. There, he was hanged, drawn, and quartered. His head was preserved in tar and placed atop London Bridge and his limbs sent to the four corners of the country as a warning. The Scottish Wars of Independence dragged on, with a brief respite, until almost the end of the century (and, one could argue, they continue to be fought even today).

Fringe Survival

The annual Fringe Festival has officially begun, which means overwhelming numbers of people and shows. Whether you're a local or an out-of-towner, you're going to have to contend with both at some point (unless you go on holiday for the entire month of August, which is, incidentally, when the rest of Europe goes on holiday).

I'm spending the month of August voluntarily diving straight into the Fringe: I'm reviewing plays for FringeGuru.com; I did my first one, Female Gothic, yesterday (it's great, by the way, go check it out) and I probably have another one lined up for today. I've already gotten a taste of what Fringe-season Edinburgh is like and I've quickly adapted to it (no choice, really, it's either adapt or get run over or buried in flyers!) Here are a few things I've learned:

Pace Yourself. This is definitely number one. There are thousands of shows on, and the Fringe is only one festival happening in August (there are also the International Festival and the Book Festival). The Fringe catalogue of shows alone is half an inch thick. Unless you don't need rest or sleep, if you try to see everything that sounds interesting to you, you'll die of exhaustion. My suggestion: pick one festival (say, the Fringe) and focus on areas that are of particular interest to you (maybe comedy and theatre). Read the descriptions of those shows and pick some to go see. This is not to say you might not add to your list later -- there are plenty of free shows happening, and flyers are being thrust at you from all sides as you walk down the Mile, so surely you'll hear about something else you want to see -- but at least this way you're not spending weeks just trying to get through the show descriptions.

Take Time to Enjoy the City. Edinburgh's awesome. Yes, the Royal Mile's cool, but there are lots and lots of other neat areas to discover that aren't choked with people right now. Take a break from all the darkened theatres, stretch your legs, and explore the New Town (not just Prince's Street) or Leith. Loathe as I am to encourage crowds of people to head to my neighborhood (what can I say? I like it quiet and I'm a little selfish), my neck of the woods, Stockbridge, is incredibly charming. Lots of little restaurants that won't be too crowded, and cute boutique-y shops you won't find anywhere else (which is not something you can say about George or Prince's Street). Pop into one of the free museums -- they've got some great exhibitions on now.

Bring Good Walking Shoes. For some reason, the locals are fine with tottering about on crazy high heels. That's because they're slightly insane. This city is very hilly and cobblestones are still a very popular paving material, particularly in the older sections (where almost all the Fringe activity is going on). Those heels that make your legs look great will inevitably get jammed in a crack in the street and you'll either faceplant or find yourself desperately trying to tug free while a bus bears down on you. Wear flats.


Don't Complain About the Weather. Seriously, this is such a cliche anyway. We know it's cooler than it is in the U.S., that's why we have jumpers and jackets. We know it's wet (it's been unseasonably rainy this year, so no cracks about how 'typical' the rain is), that's why we have cute wellies and brollys. You can find all of these things at John Lewis, British Home Stores, or any of the department stores right on Prince's Street, so go ahead and kit yourself up and get used to carrying an umbrella around at all times.

Get a Sturdy Umbrella. Speaking of umbrellas: get a good one. Rain and wind go hand-in-hand here, and that cheapo you bought won't last a second. Invest in a decent umbrella or you'll regret it fast.

Brace Yourself for Flyers. Getting around the Royal Mile or any of its side streets is like running a paper gauntlet. Hands appear from all sides, thrusting flyers at you and begging you to go see this or that show. You can do a few things here: focus straight ahead, refusing to make eye contact or acknowledging the flyer-givers; perfect an incredibly fierce stare that warns people not to approach; murmur a polite refusal; just take the flyers (though by the end of a 100-yard walk you may have more than you can carry). Whatever you do, remember that these are all artists trying to promote their shows or students working for minimum wage to promote a show, so don't be a jerk to them no matter how annoyed you are by all the offers.

Don't Mention the Tram Works. Believe me, the locals are far, far more annoyed than you are by the endless tram works that have torn up the middle of the city, ruining businesses and making traffic a hellish mess. It's not your cabbie's fault he now has to go out of his way to get you back to your hotel, so don't think he's cheating you. He's not. And if you mention this to a local in a pub or something, you might just get an endless tirade about stupid, corrupt, inept politicians our tax dollars still have to pay off, even though this whole thing's been bungled from day one, and isn't it a shame how Prince's Street has so many empty stores now because trade fell off so sharply while it was closed? Just don't go there.

Try the Haggis. Just once, to say you did.

How about it, Fringegoers? Any other tips to add?

Spot the Tourist/Spot the Local

 The Fringe Festival is starting up, which means this city is FULL of tourists. I've heard so many American accents lately it's like I never left the U.S. Old Town and the most central part of New Town is where they tend to gather, which means a walk down Prince's Street is a great opportunity to play "Spot the Local/Spot the Tourist". How do you tell the two apart? Here are a few clues.

Tourist: Stopping to take pictures of Edinburgh Castle
Local: Slamming into them while texting

Tourist: Dressed in sensible shoes and suitcase-friendly, anti-wrinkle clothes
Local: Dressed in black stockings, high heels, and a short skirt

Tourist: Bundled up like it's January because it's only 62 degrees out
Local: Wearing shorts and a tee shirt because it's 62 degrees out!

Tourist: Looking befuddled by the weather
Local: Carrying an umbrella even though it's perfectly sunny out

Tourist: Taking pictures of double decker buses and the Royal Mile
Local: Riding one and steering well clear of the other

Tourist: Looking up whiskey tours
Local: Grabbing a bottle from their local corner shop

Tourist: Wondering why there are so few kilts on the street
Local: Wearing a non-traditional kilt mostly around their neighborhood or renting one for a wedding or other special occasion, because the full kit is seriously expensive

Tourist: Thinks the pasties and sausage rolls at Greggs are "English Food"
Local: Thinks the pasties and sausage rolls at Greggs are "drunk student food"

Tourist: Tripping over cobblestones
Local: Tripping over cobblestones (some things are just universal)